...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Enjoy the penises
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
