yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
