i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
