Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
