Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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