I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?