if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
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