Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
