dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
