I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
