Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
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