I faked an abortion last night.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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