There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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