The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
babies were throwing up all over the place
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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