WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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