Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
