I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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