Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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