Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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