Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Randomize
