cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
