I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
