i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Randomize
