I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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