My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
