I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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