Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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