Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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