Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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