Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
