dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm way too hungover for life right now
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
