One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
