"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
