K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
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