....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
