The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
