I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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