She's JV to your varsity
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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