Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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