I smell stomach acid.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
