There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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