Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
