Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
