so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
