Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so explain again why im purple
no
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
