You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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