How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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