...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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