I think im going to throw up on grandma
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
