I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
