Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
