Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
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