All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
