ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
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I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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