The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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