He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
