ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Randomize
