yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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