There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
