i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
