i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
