I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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